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Porch Blog 15 | amberdextrous's Blog


My front porch has been mostly uninhabitable for months now, as my city suffers through yet another record heatwave. At 6am today the temperature still hovers around 30C, expected to climb to 40+ for the fifth consecutive day.

In 1962 my parents fled the chilly winters of England, seeking the Australian sunshine. By 1989, when my Dad retired from his job as a photographer for the Commonwealth Government, they had had enough of Perth’s searing summers and moved further South, to Western Australia’s South-Westernmost point, where the Indian and Southern Oceans meet. At least there they could be assured of a cooling sea breeze in the evenings.

The availability of my work as a clown, storyteller and stand-up comedian meant that I had little option but to sweat it out in this sweltering city for another 25 years, but I can stand it no longer... I hereby vow that this will be my final year of frying in this boiled, baked and sun-cooked place.

Given that this is my son James’ final year of school, and the imminent immigration of my new Life Partner from snow-bound Canada, I intend to follow my parents’ example and to find somewhere closer to Antarctica to live; I have truly had enough.

This morning the breeze –such as it is- sighs in from the East-North-East, out of the centre of this dessicated continent, and the usually-chirpy birds seem stunned into silence. A family of magpies that farm the new-cut grass beyond my porch already look exhausted, their beaks open, panting, their wings held wide, away from their bodies. A pair of wagtails takes an early morning shower beneath the neighbours’ sprinklers; and a jogger does not bother to deviate from the footpath between the sprays, knowing she will dry out soon enough.

Climate change denialists use all manner of statistical tricks to “prove” that the steady warming trend of the past three decades is nothing but a left wing conspiracy, but in truth the figures speak for themselves: eleven of the past 12 years have each seen temperatures soar beyond all previous records; rainfall figures in this South-West corner of the continent have plummeted by 30 per cent in the past 35 years.

These patterns are exactly as predicted by the meteorological models plotting climate change. The high tide levels of the Indian Ocean have risen even further than forecasted.

Climate change is real, immediate, happening. My only option, if I am not to sweat myself to death, is to move to somewhere cooler. Augusta, here I come...

This Blog Entry's Comment Board (4 comments)
1-4 of 4 Comments   

perseverer
Posted on 12:21AM on Feb 12th, 2013
The Gippsland in south-east Victoria is pleasant. Just a thought.
TheWanderingSupertramp
Posted on 02:06AM on Feb 12th, 2013
It's not THAT hot.
amberdextrous
Posted on 07:58AM on Feb 12th, 2013
Tee-hee, perseverer! I'm sure we will at least be able to pay You a visit!

OK, TheWanderingSupertramp, You are only young; You have grown up during The Hot Times, and are obviously acclimatised. I remember when the Fremantle Doctor -the afternoon sea-breeeze that blows over Perth from the direction of the port city- could be relied upon to make regular cooling house-calls!

We aged and infirm inhabitants of Perth feel summer's wrath more fiercely every year.

Thank You both for reading, and for your comments.
TheWanderingSupertramp
Posted on 09:24PM on Feb 12th, 2013
True, but I am originally from Tassie and do struggle with the each from time to time. It hasn't been too humid which I am thankful for (as I do live in Perth too).
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Previous Posts
​Antipodal Porch Blog, posted December 25th, 2013, 2 comments
Guest Blogger On Dex's Porch ! clarkee's Here !!!, posted October 20th, 2013, 2 comments
A Special Guest On My Porch, posted September 25th, 2013, 2 comments
I Feel Grateful to Have a Porch on Which to Sit and Blog, posted August 24th, 2013
Ralph Loves His Mum, posted July 31st, 2013
Porch For Sale !, posted July 24th, 2013, 3 comments
Porch Blog July 19, 2013, posted July 19th, 2013, 2 comments
Overdue Porch Blog, posted May 25th, 2013, 5 comments
Birthday Blog, posted February 25th, 2013, 3 comments
Porch Blog 15, posted February 11th, 2013, 4 comments
Porch Blog 14, posted July 18th, 2012, 4 comments
Diary Of A Dead Man 3, posted June 27th, 2012, 1 comment
Porch Blog 13, posted June 26th, 2012, 3 comments
Porch Blog 12, posted June 26th, 2012, 2 comments
Porch Blog 11, posted June 18th, 2012, 3 comments
Porch Blog 10, posted June 18th, 2012, 3 comments
Porch Blog 9 -Spring Cycles, posted November 14th, 2011, 3 comments
Porch Blog 8 - My Misconception, posted November 10th, 2011, 4 comments
Porch Blog 7 -Of Slugs, Snails and Dog-Owners' Tails, posted November 9th, 2011, 4 comments
Porch Blog 6, posted October 31st, 2011, 3 comments
Diary Of A Dead Man 2, posted October 25th, 2011, 2 comments
Diary Of A Dead Man, posted October 8th, 2011, 5 comments
Dawn Chorus, posted September 21st, 2011, 3 comments
View from a front porch 5, posted September 16th, 2011, 8 comments
View from a front porch 4, posted July 21st, 2011, 4 comments
View From A Concrete Porch 3, posted May 23rd, 2011, 2 comments
View From A Concrete Porch 2, posted May 20th, 2011, 2 comments
View From A Concrete Porch, posted May 19th, 2011, 2 comments
Will I Ever Learn?, posted December 28th, 2010, 9 comments

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